CRAVING
by Made of Blue
Summary: It only took a single desire, a craving, for him to drive her over the edge. TYL!GokuderaOC mini-series
1. Considering

Initially, she didn't pay him much attention. Aside from his renowned combat abilities, he didn't seem to stand out to her in any way. Of course, that was before she saw a picture of him. It only took a glance at the man for her to know that her heart was in trouble.

Of course, the gorgeous bomber had quite the following of female fans. He could have almost any woman he wanted, and she knew it. So, then, why would he choose her? The fact was, she knew he wouldn't.

It wasn't that she was appallingly ugly, yet she wouldn't consider herself breathtakingly beautiful either. For a member of the Mafia, her skills were mediocre at best, her only weapon being a simple handgun. She didn't hold a title position, and her responsibilities were limited. The only reason she ever saw her boss was due to his desire to know all of his subordinates.

Why, then, was she afflicted with this desire for one of the highest ranking members of the Vongola family? Fate was a cruel reality, indeed. Regardless of her boss's kindness, the hierarchical structure of such an organization was irrefutable, and she could never know Gokudera the way she would have liked.

Her attraction to him only seemed slightly more bearable when she had the opportunity to interact with him firsthand by delivering some paperwork. He treated her with the same manner that he used for the other messengers, regarding her only with a wave of his hand and an absentminded word of thanks.

She dismissed herself, closing the door and slipping down the wall just outside his office to sit on the floor. This was one of the few opportunities for her to interact with the man of her dreams, and she did nothing. Should she have said something? What would she have said that wouldn't have sounded foolish? Nothing.

"Excuse me," a silky, masculine voice interrupted, drawing her gaze up onto his. Gokudera didn't seem to notice her endearing look, or he just ignored it. He did, however, raise an eyebrow at her position on the floor.

She immediately stood, brushing the dirt off of her trousers and stuttering out an apology.

He ignored her reply, redirecting his gaze to the papers in his hand.

Gokudera may have asked her a question; she couldn't tell. She was too distracted by the way his lips moved when he spoke, and the way his tie was slightly loosened, the top two buttons of his red shirt unbuttoned. There were dark bags beneath his eyes, and his hair was fairly unkempt. He was beyond handsome.

She answered whatever he had asked mechanically. Luckily, the supplied response seemed to please him, if the smirk at the papers in his hand was any indication.

"Thanks," he murmured, his voice now sounding more tired than it previously did. She bowed to her superior, about to leave in an attempt to avoid further humiliation.

"Ah," Gokudera called, halting her. "What's your name?"

Her eyes widened slightly as she tried to hide the wide smile threatening to appear. She had no idea why she was so delighted with this question; it didn't mean anything.

Trying her hardest not to stutter, she replied, delivering her full name.

He nodded in reply, then supplied his own. She blushed; he obviously didn't realize that she had committed his name to memory.

Gokudera then turned around, effectively dismissing her. Before she had completely disappear from view, he turned around once more, watching her walk away.

He wouldn't forget her name.


	2. Rationalizing

It had been several weeks since Gokudera was first introduced to Mizuki. While he wasn't enthralled with her, he found her mannerisms slightly amusing. She was easily embarrassed by his identification of her obvious yet minor mistakes, and whenever he stepped within two feet of her, her blush was more evident than any other feature she could possess. To him, her behavior seemed reminiscent of what Tsuna's was.

The only reason that he had the opportunity to interact with her so constantly was that she was given the duty of delivering all forms to their respective Guardians. While she had plenty of opportunities to interact with the others, Gokudera was certain that none of them elicited the same response from her.

While he had spoken to her briefly on several occasions, he had never once touched her, considering that he had no reason to. Perhaps the only time that they would physically interact would be by accident.

Gokudera sighed, resting his forehead in his hand. It had been a long, dull day of paperwork, and while that wasn't what his usual job entailed, there were particular days when he was overwhelmed with a quantity of busywork. He actually considered Mizuki's intrusion a grateful break from the tediousness that had overcome his day. Gokudera knew that she was at the door before she could mumble some shy apology for interrupting him.

She knocked gently, like she always did, and he immediately replied with an invitation for her to enter.

Her heels clicked against the floor when she stepped in, gaining Gokudera's attention not only for the sound but for the unusual outfit she wore. Usually, her attire consisted of a simple black business suit accompanied by a white button down shirt. Today, however, her figure was much more defined. The tight pencil skirt encircled her hips as perfectly as his arms could have. She wore a different sort of blouse today; a light cream colored button down with cropped sleeves that barely covered her smooth arms, complete with a ruffling detail at the chest of the shirt that slightly exposed the swell of the cleavage beneath.

Gokudera didn't know if she was aware of it, but the transparency of the shirt caused her white bra to come into his view. He didn't suppose that she would have so blatantly exposed herself, but he opted not to comment on this particular fact. Instead, he merely stated his opinion of her appearance.

"You look nice today," he spoke, looking down from her to his desk again. Following this comment, he didn't pay her appearance a second thought-after all, he didn't have to look up at her again to know that she was blushing.

"U-um," she began, smoothing a wrinkle out of her tight skirt. "I, uh, had an accident, so-"

She stopped speaking when Gokudera rose his head and quirked an eyebrow at her obvious mis-phrasing.

"Ah! That's not what I mean, um," she explained, shaking her hands in front of her. "I spilled coffee, and I didn't have another outfit besides this, so..."

She flushed again as her voice trailed off at the end. Gokudera continued to stare at her, then chose to clarify why, even though he considered its purpose obvious. "Did you need something else?"

"Oh! Um," she began, stumbling out of her embarrassment by holding out a bundle of papers, "these are from the Tenth-"

She stepped forward to bring the forms to Gokudera's outstretched hand. But, of course, such a mediocre task couldn't be so simple in front of him. The papers slipped out of her hand when she attempted to approach him, sliding across the smooth floor to hit the corner behind her.

"S-sorry!" Mizuki stuttered, immediately moving to retrieve the papers. "I'll get them."

When she began to approach the corner, she heard the movement of wheels across the floor, but ignored it as she bent over to retrieve the fallen items.

Mizuki wasn't even aware of Gokudera coming over to help her until she felt the heat from his body beside her. She instantly stopped the movement of her hands, dropping whatever forms she had picked up.

"You know, I'm not so rude as to make you pick these up yourself," he muttered, collecting all the paper quickly, thumping them on the ground to line them up. Gokudera then sent a smirk her way, standing up with the papers in hand. She followed his example, looking up at his face and blushing from the close proximity.

At the moment, Mizuki was too nervous to even stutter out some excuse to leave; besides, why on earth would she excuse herself when the man of her dreams had all of his attention currently focused on her?

But, of course, it couldn't last. Gokudera stepped back towards his desk, placing the papers down before returning to his seat. He sighed and held his pen again, preparing himself for another couple hours of tedious reading. Concentration proved more difficult this time, however, as he realized that the messenger girl was still standing in the corner of the room.

"You can go, you know," Gokudera clarified, gesturing towards the door.

Mizuki seemed to snap out of her stupor as her eyes widened and she foolishly stumbled to the exit, muttering a random apology while leaving.

After the door closed behind her, Gokudera continued to stare at it. He was perfectly aware of how she felt about him; he wasn't an idiot. He also knew that several other women shared her sentiments, so he had no reason to pick her over them, not that he was considering any of them at all.

Why, then, did he stand up from his desk and walk outside to call her back?

"Hey!" Gokudera shouted, gaining Mizuki's attention. She immediately turned around and approached him slightly, still keeping her distance. Mizuki was sure he considered her an idiot, especially with her embarrassing behavior in the room. Knowing that she was listening to him, Gokudera continued speaking, "I need a break. You wanna go get coffee?"

Her appearance seemed surprised at first, but she then regained whatever composure she could around him. "S-sure. What kind would like me to get for you?"

Gokudera couldn't help but release a chuckle. Usually, he would consider such naïveté irritating; but, for some reason, when it came from Mizuki, it was more endearing than anything else.

"How about I just go with you?" Gokudera clarified, knowing that she would blush in reply. And, sure enough, her cheeks flushed bright crimson.

Mizuki appeared to be contemplating whether or not she should go; however, in reality, she had lost the ability to speak. Why was it so difficult to communicate around him?

Once Gokudera began to show impatience, Mizuki immediately supplied her reply; and this time, she didn't stutter.

"Okay."


	3. Acquainting

Mizuki didn't say much to Gokudera; rather, she couldn't. She seemed to have lost the ability to speak when he invited her on this excursion, however meaningless it seemed. It was just coffee, after all.

After placing their orders and retrieving their drinks, Mizuki began to move towards the door to leave; there was no way the right-hand man of the Vongola could want to waste his time with her. She stopped, however, when he called her back.

"Hey, where are you going?" Gokudera questioned, sitting down at a small circular table. Mizuki turned around, her signature blush rapidly spreading across her cheeks as she took the seat across from him. She put her hands on the table with her cup, tapping her fingers on it while looking at the table nervously. As it turned out, she was so tense that she was completely unaware of the bomber's gaze on her as he sipped his beverage.

Gokudera brought his cup back down on to the table, watching Mizuki's obvious display of uneasiness. She always seemed so anxious around him. While he knew why, he'd be lying if he said that her nervous mannerisms didn't irritate him. He was just a person, after all. There was no need for anxiety.

"Hey," Gokudera called, earning Mizuki's attention. Her fingers immediately stopped drumming on her cup, simply holding it instead. "You don't have to be so nervous, you know."

Once again, Mizuki's face heated. She looking down at her cup, managing to squeak out a reply. "I-I'm not nervous."

As soon as she finished speaking, her leg began to move up and down, her gaze drifting off to the side of the room. There were several other couples in the coffee shop that day, but Mizuki only took notice of one. Two teenagers sat a table similar to theirs, only one cup atop it, as the boy's hands entangled the girls', each one smiling at the other. Every once in a while, they would lean in to each other, smiling like they had some awesome secret, and peck each other on the lips.

Mizuki was slightly disgusted to acknowledge the feeling in the pit of her gut as jealousy. She hadn't been in a relationship for months, and she was ashamed to say that it wasn't very serious. She couldn't even recall ever having been in a relationship like the young couple's, where the affection was so intense that even publicity wouldn't halt such interactions. She wanted it. Badly.

Gokudera sipped from his cup again, this time following Mizuki's gaze to some lovesick kids on the other side of the room. He cringed slightly. Gokudera couldn't recall ever having felt that way about a woman, not for lack of being with them, of course. He quickly lost interest in the pair, once again focusing on Mizuki. Her envy was rather apparent, yet her expression seemed pained as opposed to angry. She didn't really seem like the type to anger very easily, anyway.

Regardless of her emotions, Gokudera couldn't help the strange feeling coiling in his gut. He didn't like seeing Mizuki's face contorted in such a pained way. She should be giving him that shy smile, blushing abruptly at something he would say. It was only then that Gokudera took notice of the rapid movement of her leg, up and down while she admired the couple on the other side of the store. While he didn't yet know how he could help her in terms of her desire for affection, he did know how to regain her focus.

Gokudera quickly slipped his hand atop her exposed knee, resisting the urge to caress the surprising soft skin there. He immediately gained Mizuki's attention, her face flushing and now focused on him.

"Hey," he suavely spoke, slipping her a sly smile, "I'm over here."

He kept his hand on her knee, waiting for her to react, until she surprised him, as she usually did. Timidly, Mizuki tugged his hand off of her knee, stuttering out some apology and sipping her drink, purposely avoiding his gaze.

Gokudera wasn't very surprised at her response. He knew that although she liked him, she wasn't the type to be so openly intimate with her superiors. She knew her place; he liked that.

Shyly, Mizuki looked back up at Gokudera from beneath her eyelashes only to find his gaze centered on the view outside. He was frowning, which caused her to follow his stare. Soon after, she copied his expression; it was pouring outside.

Gokudera chuckled, looking back at Mizuki as she, too, returned her focus indoors.

"Well, I didn't bring an umbrella, so I guess we're not going anywhere soon," Gokudera commented, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. He looked over at Mizuki, who was looking back at him without some sort of nervous twitching. He continued staring at her, until her brought the cigarette away from his mouth and exhaled, purposely aiming away from the woman opposite him.

Mizuki looked down at the table again. She was sure that Gokudera was irritated by the weather, since he would never want to spend more time with her than necessary. She was sure that he was already annoyed by the fact that she couldn't sit still for two seconds, a condition that was only exacerbated by the fact that the current object of her affection was sitting two feet away from her. It was only due to the fact that she was so sure of these things that she had trouble understanding Gokudera's next statement.

"So, tell me about yourself."

Mizuki's eyes widened slightly. Trying to regain herself and ensure that she had heard him correctly, she stuttered, "W-what?"

Gokudera placed his elbows on the table, leaning on it. "We have some time to kill. And I don't really know who you are, even though I'm sure you know who I am."

Mizuki blushed; she thought she had been a bit more subtle with her feelings. How silly.

"That's a pretty vague request," Mizuki commented, somehow managing to coherently phrase words, to which Gokudera smirked. He knew it must have been quite the undertaking.

"Just start at the beginning."

Mizuki sighed. She knew he would get bored. There wasn't anything extraordinary about her life. But in spite of these reservations, she began.

"I was born a little south of Osaka..."

She continued speaking, trying to reiterate her life until Gokudera grew bored of listening. She was sure he would, given that it was rather uneventful. It was because of this prediction that she was surprised when Gokudera smiled at some parts of her story and frowned at others, his gaze centered on her the entire time. After a while, she forgot that she was sitting with _the_ Gokudera Hayato in a coffee shop when she had plenty of work to do. Apparently, he had forgotten as well, since the streets left no evidence of the poor weather earlier. His cigarette lay in the ashtray, long since extinguished, and the empty cups sat pathetically on the table, the substance once in them either evaporated or drunk hours ago.


	4. Vexing

Three months had passed since Mizuki's coffee break with Gokudera. Since then, the focus of her work had shifted. She was transferred to another division of the base and didn't interact with Gokudera as often. While she could safely say that she still had feelings for the man, she was certain they had slightly lessened with the decrease in interactions.

It also helped that she had befriended the young engineer Seiji, a smart attractive young man that never failed to make her laugh. While she didn't feel anything for him even remotely similar to what she felt for Gokudera, it helped to have someone to dissipate her feelings for the guardian.

It was a rare occasion today, however, when she went to deliver more papers to Gokudera. It now happened about once a week instead of almost every day. She lightly knocked before entering, and only did so after receiving his permission.

"Good afternoon," she greeted, walking forward to place the papers on his desk. "The boss asks that you return these to him by the end of the day."

Gokudera didn't even glance up. With a quiet recognition of gratitude, he dismissed her. Mizuki didn't think twice about the slightly rude response, since it was usual for him to do so when he was over-worked. She calmly exited the office and proceeded to the break room, where she was meeting Seiji to discuss the birthday party that evening for another co-worker.

In his office, Gokudera sighed, placing his head in his hands. After taking a break with Mizuki, the two had resumed their usual exchanges, yet Mizuki's awkwardness around him had lessened. She didn't stutter as much and stood with slightly more confidence. He would be lying if he said he minded the improvement.

Another observable change in her nature was her increase in interactions with other employees, most notably a young engineer currently under Spanner's supervision. While Gokudera had only seen a few of their interactions, the familiarity with which they addressed each other indicated that there had been many more.

He actually wondered why he was even dwelling on the scenarios at all. He didn't care for Mizuki in that regard, so there was no reason for him to think about her supposed romantic conquests. Yet the thought of her laughing at another one of those immature jokes that engineer always told sent an incurable uneasiness throughout his system.

Sighing, Gokudera stood up from his desk and made his way to the door. He just needed a walk to clear his head.

Unfortunately, as he made his way around the corner, he ran into one of the last people he would want to see while he was in a bad mood.

"Oh, Gokudera!" Yamamoto cheerfully greeted. "Finally made your way out of the office, huh?"

Gokudera looked away from the guardian, offering a few rude words of dismissal before beginning to retreat. It was a slightly stifled laugh coming from the room next to the pair, however, that stopped him immediately. He didn't even have to peer inside to know that it was Mizuki's. Still, he continued to stare into the room, watching her giggle at whatever that damned engineer said. He could've guaranteed that it wasn't funny.

Yamamoto followed the bomber's gaze, watching the cute brunette in the room hold her stomach in laughter as the man opposite her continued to speak. He looked back to Gokudera and immediately recognized the envious glare in his eyes.

"Haha, I get it," Yamamoto smirked. "Is that why you've been so moody lately? You've been acting even angrier with me than usual!"

Gokudera's eyes widened a bit before he angrily turned towards the swordsman. "Don't assume things, moron! It's not like that!" He immediately realized the volume of his voice, however, and stepped to the side so Mizuki and the engineer couldn't see him. They must have looked to the door, however, since Yamamoto casually waved at and greeted them. Gokudera quickly pulled him to the side before the rain guardian had the opportunity to say more than necessary.

"You're pretty anxious with this stuff," Yamamoto commented, reaching up to scratch his head. "You act like you've never liked someone before."

Fortunately, Gokudera was skilled enough to prevent himself from blushing. "I don't _like_her. You make me sound like a fucking kid."

"Then what would you call it?" Yamamoto replied. "It's obvious you're feeling something."

Gokudera glared at the male. He could hear the approaching footsteps of Mizuki and her co-worker, and decided to end the conversation without one of Yamamoto's obnoxious comments.

"I think it's obvious that you need to stop guessing when you keep saying the wrong thing," Gokudera murmured just as the two walked out. Mizuki's surprised glance met Gokudera's as she bowed to him and Yamamoto, offering a respectful greeting. The engineer did the same.

"Ah, Mizuki," the boy beside her stated, "I'll see you tonight?"

It was quite fortunate that Gokudera was skilled enough to manipulate his facial expressions and emotions; otherwise, he was sure he might have exploded. Why _in the hell_would a girl like Mizuki go out with someone like that kid?

She smiled at the engineer. "Yeah, I can't wait." She tucked a lock of soft hair behind her ear and waved at the boy as he walked away. She did the same but walked in the opposite direction, excusing herself from the two men. This time, however, Gokudera couldn't contain the sigh as he watched her walk away.

He felt entranced for a moment, until Yamamoto's obnoxious laughter disturbed his daydreaming. Gokudera was practically seething. "_What_."

"Nothing!" the man laughed. "I'm just a fan of irony."

"What's ironic?" Gokudera asked, though he regretted the words as soon as he said them.

Yamamoto's face calmed with a small smile as he looked at the other guardian. "Isn't it obvious? She was infatuated with you when you didn't even know who she was, but she got over it. And now, you like her!"

Gokudera didn't move. "You need to stop being so presumptuous," he commented. "It's going to get you killed one day."

Tired of listening to the swordsman's taunting, Gokudera retreated without another retort from him. So much for taking a walk to clear his head…


	5. Influencing

Mizuki had dealt with failure her entire life. This naturally accompanied her clumsiness and awkwardness, but seemed to compound in terms of her love life. While her clumsiness caused her to do poorly in school (what with her lack of organization) and awkwardness prevented her from having any semblance of a normal social life, her desperateness for interaction with the opposite sex had all but halted her love life. It was as if the entire male species had decided to write her off as someone not to be bothered with. (She also had the tendency to exaggerate.)

She had, however, grown quite a bit. After clearing puberty and physically developing enough to be deemed moderately attractive or even cute, everyone seemed to think of her clumsiness and awkwardness as endearments more so than hindrances. Her reputation as a failure dissipated completely after she got her first boyfriend. Yet her former status happened to be the discussion taking place in the break room of Vongola's Japanese HQ.

"You really couldn't do anything, Mizuki," a young blonde seated across from her said. "I mean, your knees were always bruised from falling and you never did your homework..."

Seiji, sitting next to the blonde, commented, "Haha, really? I have trouble believing that! You're such a workaholic now."

Mizuki seemed to sink lower into her seat. "It wasn't that bad, Akiko... And I always did my homework! I just lost it..."

Akiko smirked. "So there wasn't any point in doing it, huh? Even the practice for tests was no use. You always got so nervous for exams that you never did well!"

"How would you know?!"

"The teacher always made an example of you! He would show your test and say, 'This is exactly what you shouldn't do!'" This statement caused Seiji to enter a laughing fit.

Mizuki crossed her arms and looked away from the mocking pair. "We weren't even friends, then..."

"We didn't have to be," Akiko retorted. "Everyone knew you as a failure. 'No good Mizuki.'"

Mizuki sighed, taking note of Seiji's reaction to her unfortunate past. She didn't mind being called a failure for her history; she knew she had been one. She had grown since then, and she was certain it wouldn't be fair to call her a failure now.

Seiji seemed to have calmed down a bit, at least enough to confirm what Mizuki was thinking. "At least you're not like that now. You still trip and stuff, but you're organized."

"And efficient," Akiko added.

Mizuki's eyebrow twitched. "You're just trying to compensate for calling me a failure..."

Akiko smirked again. "Well, you're still pretty awkward. Especially around guys you like."

Mizuki instantly flushed. She cursed her cool undertones and ability (or, rather, curse) to be easily embarrassed.

Seiji nodded in agreement and added, "Yeah! Remember when she had that huge crush on the storm guardian?!"

Mizuki's eyes widened. How could he be so dumb as to say something so private so loudly?

"Shhhhh! Seiji!"

"What're you shushing him for? It was so obvious. Everyone knew."

Mizuki shrunk down, knowing Akiko was right. She was just wishing the conversation would end as soon as it possibly could. Yet from the suggestive twinkle in Seiji's eye, that wouldn't be so.

"Come to think of it, from the way you're blushing I'd say you still like him!"

Akiko smiled and pointed at Seiji in agreement. "Of course she does! After all, it must be hard to stop liking Gokudera!"

Mizuki knew she was doomed as soon as Akiko said his name.

"Who stopped liking me?"

Of course, as it would happen, the pair was so absorbed in their taunting that they didn't notice said storm guardian standing behind them. Mizuki, having been trying so desperately to disappear, had also missed his presence, yet she could've sworn he wasn't in the break room a minute ago.

"G-Gokudera-san!" Akiko and Seiji simultaneously stumbled. The two looked at each other, then Mizuki. Immediately, Akiko thought of an appropriate excuse so Mizuki wouldn't die of embarrassment and Gokudera wouldn't be angry for the trio talking about him behind his back.

"W-We were talking about another Gokudera... Gokudera Tatsuya!"

"Gokudera Tatsuya?" the true topic of discussion questioned. "That's not a very common name."

Akiko and Seiji froze again, hoping the storm guardian wouldn't also catch them of lying.

Instead, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Isn't your lunch break about over?"

They blinked, then nodded. "Y-yes! Excuse us, Gokudera-san!" Seiji and Akiko then scurried out of the room without so much as another glance in Mizuki's direction.

She shyly glanced up at Gokudera. She knew he hadn't believed their poor fabrication. She knew he was aware of her feelings, and how she had been trying to suppress them. But now, sitting in front of him with his gaze directed at her and only her, Mizuki couldn't deny that her flushing cheeks only meant that her feelings were far from completely gone.

"That applies to you as well," Gokudera said. "Didn't you go to lunch an hour ago?"

Mizuki blinked like the other two had, then quickly nodded. She muttered a quiet "excuse me" while standing to leave. Yet something caught her attention that stopped her from doing so.

"How did you know when I left for lunch...?" Mizuki shyly questioned. Her epiphany made her forget that she should've been more formal when addressing him.

That didn't seem to matter now, however, as it seemed to be Gokudera's turn to be embarrassed. It was a brief nervous twitch instead of a flush that gave it away. While others may have thought nothing of this, Mizuki herself had done it so often that she knew what it looked like and what it meant.

"You're scheduled to deliver the notices detailing the Varia's latest mission to me at three. Based on your usual amount of time needed to prepare and organize reports, you would need to begin at least two hours prior to that. It would only make sense for you to schedule your break such that you would finish by one."

Mizuki had some trouble following Gokudera's thought process, but even in doing so all she could notice was his inability to directly meet her gaze until he was done speaking.

She smiled nonetheless. "I see. Sorry for our disturbance." She bowed as she apologized and began walking out of the room. She stopped abruptly, however, and turned to smile at Gokudera. "I'll see you at three."

Gokudera's eyes widened initially, but he immediately returned to his emotionless expression.

She turned around to return to work, naturally tripping in the process. She didn't look back at him, but instead gathered herself as quickly as possible and trekked off to complete the reports.

Gokudera stood in the room for a moment, gathering his thoughts on what had just occurred. He initially wondered if Mizuki had been aware of his presence for their entire conversation, but after watching her stumble out of the room while trying to maintain her cool, he knew she couldn't have been. He was also aware that she purposely accepted his blatant lie concerning how he was aware of her lunch time. It was necessary, though. After all, how could he have told her that he had been purposely coming to the break room precisely when she did, just to see her more often?

The most intriguing aspect of today's interaction in Gokudera's mind was not the fact that he learned Mizuki still harbored feelings for him (even Yamamoto had figured that out); it was how much he had learned of her past. Failure Mizuki. Mizuki the failure. No good Mizuki.

The nicknames seemed reminiscent of those that once belonged to the person he admired above all others. Perhaps, then, it was this quality that drew him to Mizuki. That must be it. This "failure quality". For some reason, that was why he had begun liking her in return.


	6. Needing

It had been an awful day for Mizuki. First, she had woken up late, which caused her to miss breakfast. She couldn't have coffee since the machine was broken, and the lack of caffeine caused her to trip at least six times before leaving her apartment. To add to her misery, she had accumulated an incredible amount of paperwork. She couldn't even take a break today, hoping that working through lunch might prevent her from needing to stay this late. How wrong she was.

At this point, she didn't quite understand what the point of anything was.

She had finished almost everything she had that day, though, yet it was well past midnight. Mizuki locked up her papers in a filing cabinet before she left, separating the finished from the unfinished.

She quickly turned off the lights, locked the door, and began walking down the dark hallway. Having rarely worked this late, almost nothing was discernible in the hallway. It wasn't surprising that most people went home, however, since the Tenth hated to overwork his employees.

Nonetheless, being alone in a dark building slightly scared her, so Mizuki chose to walk with haste. As she approached one hallway, however, she noticed an open door. The lights weren't on, so she assumed that no one was in there. Still, this was very unusual. Most rooms had important information or tools, so leaving a door unlocked and open was incredibly suspicious. No person that worked here would do that.

At this point, her eyes had become accustomed to the darkness and her surroundings. She slowed her march, however, when she recognized where she was. The opened door was to Gokudera's office.

Mizuki stopped walking immediately. She carefully slipped off her heels to prevent making noise as she walked. Moving slowly, she pulled a handgun from the inside of her suit jacket. As quietly as she could manage, she loaded the gun, then stretched out her arms, her index finger placed on the trigger.

She slowly approached the door. Once she reached it, she peered inside, but she could hardly see anything within. She walked closer slowly, trying to make her eyes adjust to the more extreme darkness.

A few seconds later, she was able to discern a figure across the room, facing the back wall. As the figure began to move, Mizuki's breath caught in her throat. She quickly released it, however, when the man's recognizable silver hair became visible.

Gokudera looked over at Mizuki, his pupils dilated and large bags under his eyes. There was a small bandage on his cheek and a larger one that stretched from the middle of his neck to somewhere beneath his shirt. He carefully held an empty wine glass in his hand, standing tall and confidently. In spite of this, Mizuki could tell he was drunk, if not extremely tipsy.

"You're gonna need a bigger one to kill me," he stated, looking away from Mizuki's gun and focusing on the wine bottle on the desk. There was an empty one next to it.

Mizuki lowered her gun and swallowed, putting the loaded weapon on the floor. While she wasn't an amateur when it came to alcohol, she didn't particularly enjoy drinking, and neither did the company she usually entertained. The only people she was around that drank were her co-workers, and she never joined them in such frivolities. Yet she couldn't tell if she was uncomfortable or enthralled by the Gokudera in front of her. Instead of the proud, confident man she always saw, here stood a damaged, depressed individual, seeking reprieve from alcohol.

Gokudera carefully lifted the bottle, filling the wine glass practically to the rim. Even though Mizuki didn't drink, she was pretty sure that wasn't how it was supposed to be done. He held the glass by the stem, swirling it as best as he could without spilling any. She had no idea how he did it, but he succeeded.

He lifted the glass to his lips, taking a long drink from it. The glass was empty when he set it down again.

Before beginning to pour himself another glass, Gokudera looked at Mizuki. "Do you need something?"

She blinked stupidly. She couldn't even remember what she was doing there, other than watching Gokudera breathe. This time, she couldn't help the stutter when she said, "I-I'm sorry. I was just going home. S-sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt."

She turned around and started walking away. Gokudera, however, narrowed his eyes at the movement of her hips. Before she left the room, he cleared his throat and loudly demanded, "Wait."

Mizuki stopped immediately and turned around. Far be it from her to disobey a superior, even if he was inebriated.

"Why'd you work so late?" he asked, lifting the bottle and pouring the rest of the contents into his glass.

She cleared her throat before explaining that she had a lot of work to do for the job they had just completed. Gokudera stared at her the whole time, lifting the glass to his lips and swallowing the remaining liquid simultaneously. He didn't even blink until his glass had been placed on the table again.

"Tch, sucks that you had to do it alone," he muttered. He looked away from her, reaching for something in the drawer of his desk. Although his presence didn't indicate any variance in personal status, his speech obviously indicated his drunkenness.

Her eyes widened at his comment. "Oh, no, I don't mind. I-I didn't mean to sound like I was complaining. Sorry..."

Gokudera placed another bottle of red wine on the desk. "You apologize too much," he stated simply, twisting the corkscrew into the top of the bottle.

"Sorry," Mizuki muttered. "I mean! Uhm..." she looked away, hoping the darkness was enough to hide her blush. She assumed that mistake would've been embarrassing for anyone and it wasn't her feelings creeping up, causing her to blush.

Shrewd as a mafioso should be, however, Gokudera noticed her blush. He liked it. She was too cute when she was embarrassed. He also noticed her staring at the wine bottles, standing in the room uncomfortably.

"I'll just be going, then..." she mumbled, trying to leave a very awkward situation.

Before she could completely turn around, however, Gokudera spoke to her. "I don't recall dismissing you."

Mizuki turned around again, her mouth slightly agape.

"I..." Mizuki began, trying to find the proper words that would let her excuse herself. If anything else happened here, she was sure she'd fall for him all over again, drunkenness and all.

He loudly placed the wine bottle on the desk in front of him, much closer to his side. The corkscrew was perfectly placed for the bottle to be opened. Gokudera folded his hands and narrowed his eyes, staring at her intently.

"Open it."

Mizuki was slightly startled by the request, since she was sure Gokudera was more than capable of opening it himself. She chose to avoid aggravating him, however, and approached the desk, reaching over to grab the bottle. She avoided Gokudera's stare, even though she could feel it. She didn't understand why it made her shiver.

She placed one hand on the bottle and the other on the corkscrew before she began pulling. It was much more difficult than it seemed, and she couldn't even tilt the bottle to pull the cork out. She continued pulling, slowly losing confidence that she could open it.

She must have been concentrating very carefully on the task, since she didn't even notice Gokudera walk over to her. She did, however, notice when he wrapped his arms around her, his chest to her back, his hands atop hers on the bottle, his chin touching her ear as he leaned down.

"Here," he breathed, a smoky, silky smooth sound that soothed her head yet made her heart beat wildly, "let me help you." The smell of alcohol immediately perforated her brain and made her light-headed.

He tightened his grasp on her fingers, effortlessly pulling the corkscrew out and bringing the cork with it. Mizuki didn't even have to turn around and see Gokudera's smirk to know that she was blushing wildly.

Gokudera forced her hand to release the corkscrew and fit his fingers between hers, holding her hand from the outside. The sound of it hitting the floor didn't seem to disturb him as his other hand traced down her left arm until it embraced her left hand as well.

Mizuki honestly could not respond. Her breathing hitched at the feeling of a delicate touch tracing her arm, contrasted instantly by his firm grasp on her hands. She gasped when her hands were released and Gokudera's slammed on the desk at either side of her. Her hands also landed on said desk to stabilize herself.

There was a desk? Ah, that's right. This was Gokudera's office. This was Gokudera behind her, his chest pressed to her back, his mouth so close to her that she could feel his breath on her ear, hear his every inhalation.

Gokudera's right hand went over hers again, this time as lightly as his left.

"You have soft skin," he breathed into her, his voice echoing in her head, the scent of wine on his breath dominating her senses. His hand lay atop hers, his fingers spread out as hers were. He closed his fingers then, taking hers with his. Her hand was enclosed in his fist. Whether or not he was aware, Gokudera's grip on Mizuki's hand tightened, enough so that it made her gasp aloud.

"G-Gokudera-san!" she exclaimed, alarmed. "I..."

She felt his lips move into a smirk against her ear and his fist release hers.

"Ah, sorry," he murmured. She could tell it wasn't sincere.

There was something about his inebriated condition that Mizuki feared. This Gokudera seemed unforgiving and downright vindictive. This was not the man she had liked for so long, that she had wished to see every day she came in to work. She had to leave.

Mizuki began by attempting to pull her left hand out from underneath his, yet the pressure of his hand was too much for her to be able to move.

"Gokudera-san..." she began, quietly so as not to anger who was now an unreasonable storm guardian, "please let go..."

His head came closer to her neck, his lips directly against it as he said, "You'll have to speak up, Mizuki..."

As soon as she felt his lips press a delicate kiss to her neck, she took the chance to pull out her hand and attempt to walk out of his grasp.

Unfortunately, Mizuki seemed to have forgotten the prowess of the storm guardian of the Vongola. He knew what she was going to do long before she did it.

Gokudera used his right hand to use Mizuki's momentum to simply spin her around to face him before returning it to its place on the desk. Now he could see her. He could see exactly how she was lying about wanting to leave. Her eyes were big and dark, her cheeks more flushed than he had ever seen them. Her expression was enough to show that he was affecting her.

Mizuki watched Gokudera's smirk widen when he saw her face, yet she didn't know what was so amusing. She couldn't possibly have appeared to be enjoying this. Her expression must have been one of alarm.

If her appearance hadn't been before, though, it became one as she felt Gokudera's smooth, surprisingly soft lips crash onto hers.

Mizuki couldn't lie; she had imagined this moment several times before, even though she never thought it would happen. Yet she never even considered that it would have happened like this, in their place of work with the object of her affection most likely intoxicated beyond all coherency.

Nonetheless, Mizuki couldn't help but relish the sensation. Even if it wasn't something she had imagined in conditions she didn't approve of, it was wonderful. Gokudera's lips were thin and soft, so much softer than she thought they would be. His nose pressed against hers to express the urgency of the kiss. Still in shock, she couldn't yet close her eyes, and saw his brow furrowed in intense frustration, more so than she had ever seen.

Gokudera leaned in more, his whole body against hers. But he needed more. He needed to be closer, closer to someone who treasured him just to know that he was worthwhile now, in this moment. He moved his hand from her sides to wrap one around her waist and place the other at the side of her head. He felt her hair run through his fingers, her back twitch with the sensation of his arm there. Nonetheless, he pulled her even closer, closer than he thought they could be.

At that movement, Mizuki felt everything from Gokudera-the urgency, the resolve, the pure need for someone. Although she couldn't be sure, this wasn't something merely in the moment; this was something Gokudera felt he needed for some remnant of humanity. She briefly wondered what could have possibly happened on that mission.

The idea slipped her mind, however, as Gokudera pulled away, breathing from his mouth as he did so. His eyes were dark, darker than normal, and they perforated hers. She saw him, then, probably for the first time. His brow seemed to have relaxed, yet the urgency and frustration were still there. She could feel it in his hands, smell it on his breath, hear it through his breathing. Before her was a broken man, damaged for a reason he would probably never tell her. But he wouldn't have to; she would never ask.

Mizuki surprised Gokudera then, placing her hand to the back of his neck and pulling him to her, kissing him so much harder than he had before. Her tongue met his this time, and far be it from him to deny her.

Gokudera pulled her close again, his hand now running down the side of her body. Mizuki felt the urgency again, in how hard his hands pressed against her so she could feel him from his palm to his fingertips. Her hip was beginning to throb from the grip of his right hand, but she would never ask him to let go.

She brought her left hand to the side of his face, feeling it as softly as possible to contrast the harshness of his grip. His cheek was soft, yet covered in a sheet of sweat. Was it sweat?

Without warning, Mizuki pulled away, opening her eyes. As she did so, Gokudera easily lifted her to sit on the desk, her legs spread with him in between. His hands began running up and down her thighs, his fingers pressed heavily on the visible skin.

Mizuki felt this, but she ignored it to pay attention to Gokudera's face; his eyes were red and moist, linked directly to the wetness of his cheeks. She couldn't ask. She couldn't. She shouldn't.

But she had to say something.

"Gokudera... you-"

"You wore a skirt again," he interrupted, the smirk re-emerging on his face. He pressed his lips to hers again, before she said another word. At the same time, his hands traveled beneath her skirt, feeling the skin that wasn't visible.

Mizuki would have gasped again, had Gokudera's mouth not been completely dominating hers. She couldn't process what was happening now. What had happened that led to this, to Gokudera being so incredibly unusual?

That's right; he was drunk. That was the only reason why.

But as the wetness of Gokudera's tears hit Mizuki's face, she couldn't help but think it was something more.

In spite of his hands going where she didn't think she was comfortable, she threw her arm around his neck, pulling him closer. Her other hand flew to his face, wiping the tears away to take them upon herself. Her fingers threaded through his hair, his soft hair that smelled of spice and gunpowder, somehow combining into a sensation that drove her to pull him closer, closer than she ever thought he could be.

His hands traveled further now, moving her skirt up as his hands finally reached her upper thighs. Her skin was so soft, so incredibly supple and soft. It was softer and better than the skin of any other woman he had been with before. They didn't exist to him now. All that existed here was him and Mizuki and her soft, soft skin.

She pulled away from him as she felt his fingers move to the side of her underwear, pulling them off swiftly before she could protest.

He let go of her for a moment to pull back to his own pants, rushing to release himself so he could feel Mizuki so completely, so softly, that he would never let her go.

Mizuki thought she would tell him to stop, that this was too soon, that they barely knew anything real about each other. Instead, she found her hands loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt slightly, just enough to expose the wrapping around his shoulder. There was such a large bandage. She didn't want to imagine the injury that may have caused it, but the mental image simply appeared.

She pulled her hands from his neck to reach towards it, just to caress it, let him know that she wanted to take his pain, to share it so he wouldn't be so alone. His hand grabbed her wrist, however, and slammed her back against the desk, his body completely over hers before she could do anything to alleviate his pain.

Mizuki felt Gokudera maneuver himself against her leg, trying to get closer to her. When she looked at his face, however, she seemed to regain her senses.

"Wa-wait, Gokudera!" she exclaimed, without the conviction she had imagined she had. Her breathlessness deprived her of it. The hand that was once holding hers against the desk then moved to trace along her left side up to her breasts, only to grab one and embrace the softness. "W-we-ahhh- don't know enough... about each other! We haven't e-even been on a proper date!"

Everything stopped then. The room wasn't there, the wine bottles weren't there, the desk wasn't there, the corkscrew, forgotten on the floor, had disappeared. Gokudera looked up at her, the smirk gone from his face.

"Whose fault is that?"

Mizuki inhaled sharply, sitting up instantly.

She was at her desk.

In her office.

Dreaming.

It was still dark outside.

She must have fallen asleep at work.

She wondered if Gokudera was still there.


End file.
